with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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