My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
