Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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