I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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