No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
The Olympian is in my bed
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
