how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
