So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Randomize
