So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
