Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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