how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
