whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
