I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Randomize
