Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
