also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
