saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
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