Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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