Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
