We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
The uberlube is also flammable
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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