is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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