ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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