I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
