Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
