So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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