I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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