I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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