it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I can text with my tongue
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
