Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
