its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
