yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Randomize
