called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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