So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I got inside last night via doggy door
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
