omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
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