How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Randomize
