how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
