The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
