While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
