Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
