Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
