It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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