I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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