5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I want to be your penis for a week.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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