Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
