it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
don't judge my taste in strippers
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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