How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
