well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
