the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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