Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Randomize
