he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Randomize
