dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
