great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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